The Visitor

OK...so last night was a little on the creepy side. Josie wanted to sleep with both of us, so she came up with a schedule of who would sleep with her at what times (in my bed no less!). John had the first shift since he is usually back in his recliner by 1:30am. The plan was for me to sleep in my recliner and have him to wake me up so I could stumble to my bed in the middle of the night. That was OK because I figured the worst that could happen was I would sleep in my recliner all night. Boy, was I wrong!
Everyone had went to bed and the cats were starting to settle in and go to sleep. I was on facebook (of course) and listening to the Sully Erna CD that I just synced to my phone. Around midnight, I decided that I was getting tired and turned off the TV, took out my contacts and settled in my recliner with my Snuggie. I was just drifting off when a lamp on the other side of the room came on. By itself. I looked around and all the animals were in the same places they were earlier. Josie had been over there earlier plugging in her DSi so I thought maybe the plug was loose and that's why it came on. But at the same time I wasn't very comfortable about getting up to check things out. The longer the light stayed on, the longer I contemplated going to my room and making a bed on the floor! Finally, I decided that John would be up in a little bit and he could turn the light off. So I told myself, "Go back to sleep." Seconds after I did that, the light flickered and turned off. Properly freaked out, I got up and turned on the light next to me. Surely a cat walked by and pulled the plug out of the wall, because after all it was loose this whole time. I went over to plug the light back in and found that the plug was firmly in the wall. OK...so the bulb is loose, right? Nope! If that bulb was in any tighter it would have broken off in the lamp. So...what's next? The switch. Must be the switch that's messed up. And once again...no. The light turned on and off perfectly fine. Somehow I maintained calmness, turned off the light and got back into my Snuggie, turned out the other light and got in the recliner. Knowing that John would be in the living room soon, I tried to visualize a protective force around me and eventually drifted off to sleep. I woke up to a noise and saw the light on in the kitchen. John came in the living room and before he could sit down, I blurted out the night's events and was down the hall before he could say anything. I got in bed with Josie and Wolfie and fell asleep before I knew it.
Fast forward to this morning. I was retelling the story to John and Josie - just in case they thought I was talking in my sleep earlier. John said, "I remember you telling me about it last night. But that's not all that happened." Apparently, John had his own visitor last night after I went to bed. He was in his recliner and the full moon was filtering through the blinds in the dining room. He saw a shadow of a woman standing in the corner of the dining room that leads into the living room. The same corner as....the flickering light!
This led to a discussion of "why does that freak you out" and "it doesn't bother me" and "it's just your mom". OK for the record it doesn't freak me out that my mom hangs out from time to time. It's actually kind of comforting. But the reality of it all - flickering lights and seeing shadows - is the part that kind of weirds me out. And even that is contradictory because when she moves the wind chimes in the bathroom it doesn't bother me at all. I suppose it makes me uncomfortable because I don't know for sure it's her. I mean, we've had pictures move, rubber ducks fall in the tub and even had one large picture fly off the wall. For awhile there was an uncomfortable presence in the house so I burned the sage and asked the negativity to leave. It helped because nothing has happened in months. Until now....

Another Day in the Life...

So yesterday Josie duped me into a book about glamour girls. She said it was part of a series she had read. As the evening progressed, I began to figure out that this wasn't exactly the case. It was more of a handbook on how to be a glamour girl. Big difference!!! In it she found a recipe for lipgloss & decided to make some last night. And it went like this:

Jo: Look at this. I'm going to go make some.

Me: (looking over list of ingredients) I don't think we have any of those flavor extracts.

Jo: (rummaging) We have Vanilla!

Me: (remembering what the clean kitchen looked like)

Jo: (making all kinds of noise)

Me: What are you using for the Vaseline?

Jo: No! I don't need Vaseline! It said jelly.

Me: Huh? Wait! What are you using?!?!

Jo: This jelly on the counter.

Me: The new strawberry preserves?!

Jo: Yes.

Me: Wait! Stop!! You can't use that!! It said petroleum jelly! You know...Vaseline!! (headache getting worse)

Jo: What?!

Me: What have you put in the bowl? Just the jelly?

Jo: Yes.

Me: Ok. Put it back in the jar & put it in the fridge.

Jo: Arrrghhh!! (slams, bangs, stomps around)

Dad: Why can't she? What kind of jelly does she need? What's Vaseline?

Me: Really?!? (rolls eyes & searches for Valium)

Dad: (still waiting for answer)

Me: You know...Vaseline...petroleum jelly...skin softener...

Dad: Can I get her some at IGA?

Me: No! You can get her some generic kind at Dollar General!! (turning back to online bingo, trying to disappear)

Fast forward to this morning. Josie still has her nose buried in the glamour book. This is amusing to me because all the way to Grove City yesterday, she loudly declared her tomboyism. Now there is a budding fashionista in our midst & I, for one, am scared as hell!! Today she found a page about how to be a celebrity. Again, I ask myself, "What have you done?!" It wouldn't be so bad if she was just playing around. But she is taking this seriously. I know there will be a fight tomorrow morning about why she cannot dress like that & go to school! How could I possibly know this, you ask? Well, considering we are currently arguing about why she can't put on her good clothes to play outside in just because she wants to be a celebrity, I'd say it's mother's intuition. Add to that the fact that her black tights now have a hole in them & Dad just patched them up with electrical tape &...well...you figure out the odds!

My life. You can't make this stuff up!! Although sometimes I wish I was!

So...I'm a grandma now....

       So...I'm a grandma now. Those of you that know me are rereading that and saying "what-the-what" or recalulating how old you thought my daughter was.  
     The exciting event happened about a week ago. She's as cute as can be. Big blue eyes. Lots of hair with cute little cowlicks everywhere. She already recognizes me and just coos when she sees me. It's just the sweetest thing!! Finally, I know how my girlfriends with grandbabies feel. It's all the love of your own kid without all the work! This grandparent thing is a killer job!!
     The only unfortunate part about the whole situation is that she is....a Guinea pig!
     We got our daughter a Guinea pig for Christmas. She had been wanting one for a few months but we just weren't sure that she was ready. I had her read books on their care and write me a report about them so that I knew she really read them. She even wrote a "care contract" for all three of us to sign. So the hubs and I discussed it and piggy shopping we went.
     We took time out from our date-day and stopped in Petland. Of course, John had to check out all the puppies first and then check to see if they had one of those ugly hairless cats he wants. Meanwhile, I headed for the Guinea pigs and began the search. All I knew is that she wanted a black and white one. Preferably an American because they are supposed to be easier to groom, at least that's what she read in those books. So while I'm chasing the pigs around their cage, John is trying to make nice with a ferret and ends up being attacked! Amazingly enough, ferrets don't like it when you blow in their faces! Whodathunk it?! Apparently not John.
     I must have looked desperate or something because one of the employees came over offering assistance. I began to tell her about Josie and the piggy quest and told her what we were looking for. I told her it had to be an American because they are easier to care for. Tyiara told me that the Abyssians are just as easy to groom. Now there's a bonus because their hair is all over the place and it really adds to their personality! They also had one with an afro! Must've been a mix between an American and an Abyssian. Anyway, she gives her sales pitch and it's our lucky day because when you buy the cage the piggy is free! I'm liking this! So while John is off looking at the fish or apologizing to the ferret, Tyiara and I go down the small pet aisle looking for goodies for our new pet. She goes and piles up all the goodies on the counter and I meet back up with John at the Guinea pigs. I'm really torn because there was only one black and white Abyssian and it was the cutest thing ever but how was I going to keep it a secret until the following weekend at Christmas? It would never happen!! I was already about to burst from excitement and there is no way Josie would never notice it. Tyiara told me that we could bring Josie back in after Christmas and she could pick it out. So that's what we decide to do. I paid for everything and ended up winning a $20 gift card! Now that's what I'm talkin' about!!
     Fast forward to a few days before Christmas. I called back down to Petland to reming them that we are coming down in a few days and to make sure they will have a black and white one. "No more deliveries until after New Year's." Say what now?! Fortunately, they had one left like we were looking for and they put it back for us. Whew! Christmas disaster averted!!
     We made a big deal out of it Christmas morning. The cage wasn't under the tree and we acted like there was a present we forgot. She already opened her DSi so she wasn't expecting anything else big. So I lugged it in from the garage and sat it in front of her. It was wrapped in a contractor's bag and she was very confused! She got the bag opened and started screaming! John got the bright idea to ask her where the piggy was. Now keep in mind that this cage is full of stuff and nowhere ready to house anything. The poor girl is searching all over the cage for her pet but it's not there. "It must have gotten out," she said. No, baby, your dad is being a goof. It wasn't there to begin with!
     Josie and I headed off to Petland that Monday morning. We went in and picked up some food and an exercise ball. We went over to the Guinea pigs to see what was there and they had two left. Wow! Neither was black and white. Looks like I called at the right time! Poor little afro guy was still there though. We lugged everything up to the counter and before I could say anything, Josie told the salesperson, "I'm here for my Guinea pig!!" Evidently, she was used to overly excited kids because she just took it in stride and went off to find it. She brought it back out and took it back out and what do you know?? It was the same one I picked out before Christmas!!! Now that's destiny right there!! Josie was oohing and ahhing and "Mommy loves you" all the way to the truck. We got in the truck and that's when she made her announcement. "Oreo, that's your grandma! And now we are going home to see grandpa!" Umm...that's who? Grandma?? To a Guinea pig??? Oh what the hell! I'm already a mom to two dogs and two cats.
     I must admit this grandma thing isn't too bad. I get to play with Oreo and let her snuggle and purr on my shoulder while I do crosswords and then put her back in her cage. Josie is in charge of the feeding and the cleaning and grooming. I'll admit...it's not my preference of a grandchild but it'll have to do for the next ten or fifteen years! The only thing is now I want to get a little friend for Oreo! Why is it I always think our pets need to have live-in friends?!? I'm sure I'll be going back to Petland before too long!!