What Were They Thinking??

We've all had at least one someone that has left us with our mouths hanging open or at least shaking our heads. We wonder what in the world could that person be thinking or are they for real. These are true stories. I know because I've witnessed them. And me being the sharing person that I am would not feel right if I didn't let you in on the head shaking. I just want to know....what were they thinking???

You know, I don't care if you're white trash, high society, ghetto, or anything else, when you spit in public you're all the same. When I see a guy spit in public it's just gross. But when a woman does it, it's just plain nasty. Especially when she has to lean out the window of her Grand Prix so she can get some distance with it. Her momma must not have taught her to carry napkins or tissues in the car for times like that.

Then there was the time I saw a certain lady at Kroger doing her weekly shopping. Normal, right? Well, I suppose so except for the fact that she was wearing underwear on the outside of her pants. Thankfully, they were "granny panties" & not a hot pink thong. People were staring at her left & right but she didn't seem to mind. I guess I should have been thankful that is the only thing she wore on the outside of her clothes!

Apparently, there is a new protocol to saying "excuse me" when you are trying to get past someone. Normally, or so I thought, you would excuse yourself & move on by the person in your way. I think it would be considered acceptable if you lightly place your hand on their back so they know you are there & don't move into you. I didn't get the email, but at some point where you place your hand became further south. Yes, south. As in the butt area. I know this only because the new protocol was exercised on me in WalMart. Course, he was an older man & maybe he looked through his bifocals wrong & misjudged the location. Yeah...that's what it was!

I was running errands today & two women came into a store that I was at. The cashier looked over at them, her eyes got big & she shook her head. Nonchalantly - but she still shook it. I couldn't help myself, I had to look. The one woman was a big girl. (Now before anyone gets all defensive, I can say that cause I am on the big girl side of the fence too.) Anyway, she was a big girl that was well endowed. So far, there's nothing wrong with this picture. Until you process what she was wearing. Ok...quick like a bandaid! She had on knit shorts that were too small & a tshirt that was at least a size too small and about 6 inches too short. Oh, and last but not least, no bra. So picture the shirt not covering much past her boobs and her belly hanging out. But the worst of it is that when she moved she looked like Madea coming over the counter at the fast food restaurant in Madea's Happy Family. If you've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about & are now in disbelief. If not, watch it & a light bulb will come on & you will be grossed out all over again!

Vacumming the Vacuum

      That's it! I've had it! No longer can I bear the convenience of "bagless" vacuum cleaners. No fuss, no muss... Who are they kidding?? That is a true statement until the first time you have to empty the container that replaced the bag. Then it's nothing but fuss and muss with a little bit of swearing thrown in for good measure. After several attempts of emptying it, I finally learned that it's best to empty it BEFORE I vacuum. Inevitably, dust, dirt and whatever else is going to escape its confines and land on the floor. If that's going to happen I would prefer it not be on a clean carpet. And then there's the part above the container, I'm not sure what it is called or what it is good for other than trapping pet hair and making a giant dust bunny. Cleaning it is neither fuss or muss free. I've gone so far as to hold a plastic Kroger bag under it before taking it apart. Still some of the dust bunny and it's gritty bits escape. Now the inside of the vacuum is dirty. I need a vacuum to vacuum my vacuum or a dust buster at the least. Don't even get me started on the way it cleans the hard floors. Even though it is supposed to do a great job, I could vacuum the kitchen for an hour and it still won't be clean. So I purchased a second string of tools to step in where the vacuum failed. The list includes a broom that vacuums while it sweeps - not bad except for really heavy things like pieces of cat litter. And the mini vacuum which actually does fairly decent on most jobs. And rounded out by the Swiffer. This one I've tried before and was hoping it would have improved over the years. But it's only really good for dust and cat hair. I did discover that it's awesome for getting rid of cobwebs and dust on the walls. Because of that it won't be going to the trash can. So I've resorted to the old broom and dust pan. Simpler can be better. I've always thought upright vacuums were better than their canister counterparts but all this dirt drama has me longing for simpler times and my mom's canister vacuum that I used to lug around from room to room. It had all kinds of attachments and did an awesome job on the linoleum, carpet, stairs and baseboards. It even reached clear under the bed and furniture. And best of all it had that neat little feature...bags! Sweet little dirt and dust trapping inventions that made emptying the vacuum a breeze instead of another cleaning project. I'm beginning to realize why Mom ignored my teen aged pleas for an upright vacuum cleaner. I think I'm going to Sears and pick my up a sweet little Kenmore canister, with it's shiny, silver tubes, retractable cord that seems never ending, the multitude of accessories that are good for just about anything, that kinky hose that makes that funny sound when you pull it around the corner of the wall and the best part - bags! And when I get that beauty home I'm sending that upright out to the man cave annex (aka our enclosed patio) so the hubs can enjoy it until its final days. Incidentally, that may be sooner than later depending on when he empties it for the first time. You'll know when it happens because there will be a lot of swearing and it will be put out with the trash the following Sunday night!