Crazy Stuff my Husband Does in his Sleep

     Over the years, my husband has done all kinds of stuff in his sleep. When he was a young child, he would sleepwalk all the time. One time, when he was about 9, his parents found him heading out of town on 752.  Now mind you, we live in a small town and it's really not that far to head out of town. I suppose to a parent of a wandering child it seems like miles, but the fact that he had to cross rail road tracks to get where they found him would have done it for me. His sleepwalking was so bad as a child that his dad had to put all kinds of locks on the door to keep him from wandering. And when they went on vacation, they had to give him a shot of whiskey to keep him in bed! I regret to say that this trait has carried over to our daughter. But so far she hasn't left the house. She just wanders to the living room, has a conversation with us and goes back to bed.
     When we were first married, he used to relive his entire day in his sleep. The first time it happened it really freaked me out. (And that is the main reason I would tell someone to live together before they get married!!) Now you have to understand he didn't just talk in his sleep. I could have handled random incoherent mumblings but he had full blown conversations with whomever pissed him off that day! And if only it were conversations. It was cussing, yelling and basically telling the person what a dumb ass they were! But it doesn't end there. There was also the fighting. He would fight these people in his sleep. Something he couldn't do at work. The worst was the time he was so into it that he threw himself out of bed. At the time we had a waterbed and I still can't figure how he pulled that one off!
     He also used to "coma-eat". That's what he called it when he would eat in his sleep. I cannot begin to count the mornings I woke up to expect a clean kitchen and there would be food, utensils and empty containers on the counter. And he would not remember it! If only he would have learned to coma-clean it would have been wonderful!
     His sleep habits have changed over the years and there isn't so much of the sleep-talking or -eating anymore. He sleeps a lot better now that he uses a CPAP at night. But when he snoozes in that recliner, there is no telling what you will see or hear! It got so crazy the other night that I decided to make a list of:
Crazy Stuff my Husband Does in his Sleep

* Rocking in the recliner while sitting straight up asleep. This isn't so much crazy as it is creepy.
* Putting a cigarette in his mouth and then falling back to sleep before he can light it. This usually ends up with the lighter on the floor and the cigarette stuck to his lip.
 * Shaking his legs. Our recliners are part of a sectional so when he shakes his legs it normally causes seasickness in me.
 * Random incoherent mumblings.
 * Slapping his belly for no apparent reason.
And the craziest thing my husband does in his sleep....
Tapping his foot to the beat of the music that is on the T.V. and amazingly not miss a beat!
     My husband always asks me what I would do without him around to keep me entertained. I really don't know. I suppose I could watch Comedy Central a lot more. But I don't think that would help much because he is even funnier awake then he is asleep!