The Dance

     The other day when the hubs and I went out to lunch, a friend of ours stopped by our table to say hi and chat. We hadn't seen him in awhile so it was nice that he did. But then he started in on the church issue. "When are you going to go?" "Why haven't you yet?" Normally, John takes the blame to save me from having a discussion I don't like having. But this time I stepped up and took the heat. Now, I understand, being a  retired minister it's his responsibility to bring people into the church but he has never been this pushy with us. And to top it off, he had to throw in the miracle I received and "how can you turn your back on that?" I have to admit, I had been pretty cool about the whole thing but that was the 300 pound straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. Turn my back? Seriously?? Ok, you can lecture me in front of everyone in the VFW but question my faith? That's going a little too far. John saw the sparks in my eyes and turned back to his lunch, trying very hard to be oblivious to the wrath the poor Rev. was about to endure. But being the good girl that doesn't like to cause a scene in a public place, I put my 'tude in check, bit the inside of my cheek and calmly replied. "I have a relationship with God. I talk to him every single day. I don't think I need to be in a specific location to talk to him or thank him for all the wonderful things he has done in my life." Well, I could tell that I must have had a pretty good arguement because all he could come up with was that the "church family" is an important part of it.  I have surrounded myself with many wonderful people that are family to me. Not because we all go to the same church or believe the same thing. But because we genuinely care about and love each other. And when push comes to shove, I know they will always be there for me. That is far more important to me than someone that feels we need to be friends because we are in a church family. My mom and I had a church family when I was younger and, honestly, the only ones that acted like family were the ones we were already related to!
     So this played over in my head all afternoon. And I had the same discussion with myself, as usual, debating whether I should just give in to the "norm" or do what I believe. And is what I believe ok?
     Later that afternoon, I went out to the garage to tell the hubs that I was going to pick up Josie from school. And that's when it happened. Out of nowhere John said "dragonfly!" I looked outside and it was floating and diving and circling our trucks. I went out into the driveway and stood still. The dragonfly circled and swooped down around me. The entire time I'm laughing and shrieking like an idiot, trying desperately to keep my eyes on it and John is yelling, "It's your Mom!" This dance with me and the dragonfly went on about 5 wonderful minutes. And then I couldn't see it anymore. I could feel my smile fade and I turned to ask John where it went. He no more said "right behind you" when it came within 2 inches of the top of my head. I've said before that dragonflies come to me and after I had time to think about it, I know this one surely did. John always says the dragonflies that come around me are my Mom checking on me. It kind of makes sense considering this never happened to me until after she passed away. But I don't think it was her that day. I think it was one of God's many messengers floating by to tell me I'm ok and not to worry what others think because it only matters what God thinks of me. I don't know for sure but I do know that it made me feel at peace inside and the worry I had was gone.